Couldn’t Help Myself…

REALLY couldn’t help myself. I don’t want to bore everyone with another blog today, but really, I have to. 1) Because Seth is not here to listen to this and 2) The Bachelor is KILLING me this season!!

I haven’t even gained my composure to read Lincee’s recap yet. I cannot believe these girls. They are NUTS! Apparently The Bachelor has become a full-blown season of “Bachelorette’s with Talent”. They are pulling out all the stops. Never mind sharing small talk about your personal hobbies and interests. Never mind getting to know each other. Just try to jam as many as your secret talents as possible into the 20 seconds you have with him and let her rip!! I don’t know if I have them all named, but here are my thoughts so far on the girls:

Ashley: Oh brother. Grow up. A bit immature for the show. You flaunted your rose like you just won the blue ribbon in the jump roping contest at field day. And I’m tired of these “I’ve been looking at your lips” lines. Really? Guys fall for that??

Robin: Mixed feelings. Liked her a lot last episode. Questioned her this time. Something bothers me about her. I don’t know if its her voice, pouty face, or what

Amanda: Really like Amanda! And bless her heart with the hiccups. It could be worse though. Like stress-related gas! I think he did good giving her the first rose. She doesn’t seem as dramatic and skanky as some of the others.

Erin H: Hilarious. I’m a little sad she had to go home. She always took the words right out of my mouth when she had her one-on-one time with the camera. Perhaps a bit too much makeup. Maybe a little heavy on the lipstick. But funny nonetheless.

Marshana: Oh my. This is not going to end good, I promise you. Seems a bit needy and insecure to say the least. And for some reason, I keep thinking “Simba” when she comes on the screen. I don’t really know how that relates except maybe Simba = Lion King = Africa = Marshana?

Holly: Think she is really cute. Looks like one of our neighbors actually. If she’s not too ditzy she might have lasting potential. Especially after seeing next week’s previews. And who doesn’t love a children’s book author?

Erin S: New York has a shortage of hot dogs. You need to get back to your daily post!

Kelly: That voice. Husky!

Amy: Reminds me of someone I used to know. Don’t really have an opinion on her.

Kristine: EYEBROWS. Wow. If she’d take care of those monsters it might not be so bad. But boy are they thick. It’s the only thing I can focus on when they show her.

Noelle: Seems really sweet. One of the ones I thought might have lasting potential. But maybe not because she is so quiet and timid. And she hasn’t exactly sung a song or played any sort of instrument yet. Earth to Noelle…it’s the new “strategy” this season!

Shayne: Are you freaking kidding me? No way. Please send her home. She reminds me EXACTLY of Juliette Darling on Dirty Sexy Money. Her voice drives me nuts. Her whining drives me nuts. And yes, I am 88% certain she is on the show for her 15 seconds of fame. My mom thought she’d make it to the end. NO WAY BECKY, not gonna happen.

Carri: Walking example of putting it all on the line. Singing opera during your face time with the Bachelor = not appropriate.

Michelle P: clarinet…cat?! (that’s what I wrote while taking a few notes at the end) 1) I hate cats so it really made it worse that she was saying how her cat was the love of her life 2) I love dogs so maybe I would be bawling about Maggie after being kicked off – hard to say 3) She tried REALLY hard.

Ok, I’ve calmed down a bit now. This really was an episode to watch with some girls. I should’ve been forewarned. And for some reason it hasn’t been recording on the DVR either! What? I used to bet my LIFE on the dependability of that thing. Watching it on isn’t quite as fun. I’ll have to work on that. And it’s quite possible I have way too many things set to record on Monday night. But who can even remember after the ridiculous suffering we’ve gone through with the recent strike? I taped anything and everything!

3 thoughts on “Couldn’t Help Myself…

  1. Mary I would LOVE to sit and watch The Bachelor with you. It would be so fun. Ashley Speckels and I watched it together…and I was truly embarrassed for some of those sad sad girls. Seriously…Opera? Come on. Anyway, I would also like to tell you that my sister is an avid reader of your blog and informed me of this yesterday. She said you are hilarious and loves reading your blog. She even bought that sweeper/vacuum thing you had on there. Anyway I miss you and just wanted to let you know you have at least two fans…Karissa and Brittany!

    P.S. Sorry I missed the crawfish boil…I really wanted to come but I was preparing for my cousin’s baby shower!! Hope it was good!

  2. thats what I love about your blog…just when I think I’ve read the blog of the day…I get ANOTHER ONE! Though, I don’t really care about the Bachelor, sorry. Maybe I should start doing blogs about every LOST episode…what do you think? :)

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