Yesterday after work, I stopped at Kroger to pick up a few essentials. Milk, OJ, yogurt, strawberries, nilla wafers, ice cream, and…vitamins. I had been out of my daily multi-vitamin for a few days so I spent the obligatory 5 minutes in the vitamin aisle trying to decide “which one to try now”??
If you know me well, this will come as no surprise. I check to see “what’s new”…what the people next to me pick up…”should I start taking selenium…just in case????”
I don’t even know what selenium is.
Anyway. I find what I need and head home. For some reason I was very anxious to see the color and shape of my new vitamins! So I immediately opened the package and was inevitably distracted.
Fast forward 12 hours.
I wake up this morning and am ready to take my vitamin with breakfast. Healthy and full of nutrition once again!!! This is how the next few minutes went:
Mary: Seth! OMG. Someone TAMPERED with my vitamins!!
Seth: What? It wasn’t me! Is someone trying to drug you?
Mary: Possibly. I can’t believe this happened. Stupid Kroger! Why would they sell something that was tampered with! Who would try to poison me! What a conspiracy!!!
Seth: Yeah, that is NOT cool. I would return that ASAP.
Mary: I knew my dreams were true – there IS someone after me!
So I drive myself to Kroger on the way to work. March right in there and demand a replacement bottle (which they gladly exchanged by the way). Feeling much better about myself and knowing that I DEFINITELY one-upped my crazy killer stalker, I walked out and stopped dead in my tracks.
I’m barely 25. Can I really be losing my mind already???