Solemn Vows

I figured it was time for an uber-serious post. Some recent emails really spoke to me and I felt it was absolutely necessary to share.

Two of my good friends and I made solemn vows to each other…and the rest of the world…today. To all the women who struggle with such issues. To all the men who become greatly confused about what is happening once women reach a certain age. We have decided to share our vows below:


I, Dabney Fletcher, vow to never ever, under any circumstances, put on a pair of mom jeans.

My waistband will always be below (or just at… you never know what pregnancy will do to your belly… so just to be safe) the navel.

The hem will never be considered a “high water”.

They will always taper just right in order to make my butt look good.

And they will NEVER be a light wash.

And I will always look cool… especially in my stationwagon!

Amen.

I, Paula Bayles, vow to never ever, under any circumstances, put on a pair of mom jeans.

My waistband will always be below the navel and never, ever pleated.

They will always make my butt look good.

They will not be tapered at the bottom or high-waters.

I will never resemble a muffin-top because my jeans are too low and tight.

And I will always look cool.

Amen.

And lastly…

I, Mary Anderle, vow to never ever, under any circumstances, put on a pair of mom jeans.

My waistband will always be below the navel.

They will always make my butt look good.

Nobody will ever ask me when the flood is coming.

I will never buy jeans with stretch waists (unless pregnant)

I will never bring white jeans back in style.

And I will always look cool.

Amen.

May these words speak to you today and change your lives like they have changed ours.

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