The Language of Business

Nerdy, right?

I actually sunk LOW enough to mention that in an interview when I was just a young buck, yearning for a high-paying, super exciting accounting job after college graduation.

Interviewer: So why did you choose to major in accounting?
Young Mary: Well, it’s simple really. Accounting is the language of business!

I thought it was impressive at the time. Now that I’m on the other end of the spectrum, I’m pretty sure the interviewer wrote down, “major nerd. PASS!”

I digress.

I have recently been experiencing accounting nightmares…seeing as both my husband and younger sister are both enrolled in their first accounting course. Ever. And seeing as I’m a CPA, they expect me to have all the answers.

Wrong.

Hello, there is a reason why I passed my classes. I merely have a fantastic memory.

As I’m helping Seth study for his accounting test the other night, I start to shake, and want to bang my head on the dining room table.

Seth: What is the carrying value of a bond?
Mary: Umm…maybe the book value?
Seth: Mary, you should know this. Come on. What would the journal entry be?
Mary: (screaming inside) I DON’T KNOW! I already took the test over this stuff! I don’t need to know it anymore!

Now, I know teachers everywhere are shaking their heads and “tsk tsk’ing” me, but come on. I do taxes. I do not need to know, nor do I ever care to know, how to calculate things like net present value or call value of a bond. I have hidden that knowledge very deep in my brain…and thrown away the key. I try to make plenty of room for more important things…like celebrity gossip, TV shows, and fun stuff.

Mainly because…I don’t want to turn into this:

See? It would give YOU nightmares too!

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